Let’s face it; although I recognize the importance of physical attraction and eventual intimacy in serious relationships, I rarely express myself physically.  Emotional and psychological aspects of a relationship are far more important to me.  That is not to say that I don’t desire a physical component, rather I value the fore mentioned components more. 

Furthermore, I see the development of emotional and psychological dependence as a legitimate romantic relationship.  In my experience some are led to view the relationship differently due to the lack of a physical component (or ignorance of the fact that a physical component is indeed possible as time goes on).  Others I know have withheld the possibility of anything physical as it allows them to view the romantic connection as non-existent (dare I say there are people in the world who do not want to be caught dating a person in a wheelchair).  The fact is that even though I place greater value on emotional and psychological connections with my partner that does not mean that I do not desire physical intimacy at all.  I was once proud that a fellow student who is extremely sexually active asked me to gratify him sexually.  Although I would never accept his inappropriate request I appreciated that he saw fit to treat me like he would anyone else. 

I have had the pleasure of dating individuals with and without disabilities and I consider each experience valid in its own right.  Though I do not know exactly what the perfect match looks like, I have learned a lot from each experience and have no doubt that cupid will get to me eventually.  He just may have to try a little harder to penetrate my wheels. 

In the meantime I remain aware of factors such as compartmentalizing, pressure-cooking and diminishing relationships which can cause problems in romantic development.  If you have been frustrated by love in the city or a lack thereof know that others have had similar experiences. Take heart, learn from my mistakes and keep on rolling in the city.  You never know when cupid may strike.

~ Chantal