Spring has sprung and love may be in the air

I don’t pretend to understand all the complexities of true love, but I do know that there are many happy couples with very diverse qualities. I’m also sure that the tantalizing flavour of true love is partly due to unique bakers’ secrets added to every mix. When it comes to love the old adage is true. Love can be blind, but it can also be wheeled!

So because I can’t devise a complete recipe for true love, I’ll share with you some ingredients that I think mix better than others. First of all, physical capabilities will not make or break a recipe for love. Oftentimes people who can walk have more in common with those who can’t, and vice-versa. On the other hand some disabled individuals feel more comfortable with those who are similarly challenged. Consider such characteristics before assuming the perfect dynamics of a relationship.

If you decide to enter into a relationship with a person more physically able than yourself, there are some things to keep in mind. As with friendship, when dating it’s important to remember that just because someone has committed themselves to you, doesn’t mean that they necessarily want to take on extra responsibilities. In my experience guys are fearful of helping me with personal care, and this is understandable as such things are far from romantic. In order to enjoy the relationship it’s important for me to keep personal care separate - unless they specify otherwise.

On the other hand, as your relationship deepens it’s necessary that your partner grows to understand the nature of your disability. It took me a long time to realize that asking my date to simply read the menu aloud and put on my “cover” (aka bib) when the food arrives is actually more effective than having an attendant escort us on a romantic evening.

The last major lesson I’ve learned of romance is that partners who don’t share the same physical capabilities may be soul mates; however their cohesion is probably not based on physical activity. Therefore if your significant other enjoys an activity that you can’t participate in - such as hiking or biking – don’t be insulted. They may require the friendship of similarly interested and able friends, but don’t take it as a sign that you’re not good enough. In addition, your loved one will appreciate your support of their personal interests. If another desires you for their partner, chances are your contribution to the relationship is worth much more than a hobby or two.

Don’t be deterred by the physical capabilities, or lack there of in a potential partner. You never know, between the two of you there might be something special that makes the mix turn out just right.

Until you find your perfect mix, and even after…keep on rolling in the city.

~ Chantal